Sorry about the scroll factor here, but this is just one of those times when the full gravity of the situation really needs to hit hard. Hell, it’s not like I wasn’t aware (for 18 months) of this project being in the works, but fuuuck….

After a one-two punch of Disney emasculation, it really seems like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is now at the point where he’s just fucking with all of us. Obviously, I’ve developed a few coping mechanisms (like going all Cronenberg and shit by refashioning The Rock as a Bond villainess) to deal with this sense of impending doom that has plagued his recent career, but this Tooth Fairy stuff is some seriously unprecedented shit.

So, while I’m rather torn when confronted with the admittedly atrocious sight of The Rock as an ice-skating fairy, I imagine that I’ll have a lot to say when the film (which I’ll likely end up reviewing… update: verified) comes out next January. And I can’t fucking wait.