Apparently, Dwayne Johnson has realized the error of his ways for signing on to play the motherfucking Tooth Fairy, which is, of course, a role he is probably contractually stuck with at this point. However, he seeks to redeem himself by putting out feelers to casting agents for the James Bond franchise. Indeed, Johnson has openly declared that “I would love to be a Bond baddie. I am a big fan of the films.” Oh, really?

So, in order to test The Rock’s fitness as a villain, henchmen, or otherwise adversarial character in a Bond film, I’ve briefly assessed the believability of his visage in a few different Bond scenarios. In addition, I’ve also demonstrated that someone needs to forcibly destroy my copy of Photoshop, but whatever. Let’s get this party started.

Bond Villain #1: Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen) of Casino Royale

As a poker-playing miscreant, Le Chiffre not only acts as banker to international terrorists, but he also has that awesome defective tear duct that weeps blood. A nice touch, really.

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