Apparently, Dwayne Johnson has realized the error of his ways for signing on to play the motherfucking Tooth Fairy, which is, of course, a role he is probably contractually stuck with at this point. However, he seeks to redeem himself by putting out feelers to casting agents for the James Bond franchise. Indeed, Johnson has openly declared that “I would love to be a Bond baddie. I am a big fan of the films.” Oh, really?
So, in order to test The Rock’s fitness as a villain, henchmen, or otherwise adversarial character in a Bond film, I’ve briefly assessed the believability of his visage in a few different Bond scenarios. In addition, I’ve also demonstrated that someone needs to forcibly destroy my copy of Photoshop, but whatever. Let’s get this party started.
Bond Villain #1: Le Chiffre (Mads Mikkelsen) of Casino Royale
As a poker-playing miscreant, Le Chiffre not only acts as banker to international terrorists, but he also has that awesome defective tear duct that weeps blood. A nice touch, really.
7 comments
Ohh, that would be beyond awesome. Especially if he has that dementedly joyful smile on his face while chasing Bond around.
I’m going to spend some time hoping that that actually happens one day, seriously.
Oh jeez, Agent BH – the last picture made my brain hurt. Why are you getting all Cronenberg on us?
You are grounded from Photoshop you lady! Do not think I cannot spank you through the internets.
[...] Look Too Shabby Naked SOW Could Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson Pull Off Being James Bond? AB Check Out Iggy Pop Performing Madonna’s Ray Of Light RR Kristin Cavallari Side Boobage In The [...]
Gah! I meant to say “young” lady. I am flying on antihistamines here.
[...] her own fake tan [Seriously? OMG! WTF?] – Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson wants to be a Bond baddie [Agent Bedhead] – Kristen Bell performs [The Blemish] – Celebrity Tattoos [CityRag] – Donate sperm – get concert [...]
Hey, pulling a Cronenberg isn’t such a bad thing.
In theory.