Defamer periodically runs a “Hollywood PrivacyWatch” series, in which readers email information about celebrity sightings. These are generally rather amusing anecdotes, so when this series pops in my feed reader, I’m so there, dude. This particular installment’s original title (as reflected in a redirected permalink), “Bored By ‘The Happening,’ Eli Roth Sucks Face With His Teenage Girlfriend Instead,” caused my mouth to drop open. After skimming the few obligatory accounts of Fabio sightings, I took in a reader’s sighting of Eli Roth:

Went to the Grove to see a movie when I noticed a tall dark haired man making out with a pretty young blonde who didn’t look a day over 18. After a couple takes I realized it was creepy horror film director Eli Roth. He looks more attractive in person, I must admit. He and the young blonde went into The Happening. From what I have gathered, they both seemed really uninterested in the movie (which was horrible by the way) and more interested in sucking face. Maybe because his girlfriend is in high school, she’s used to hooking up in movie theaters?

A bit later, Defamer changed the title of the post to “Eli Roth Sucks Face At ‘The Happening,’” which makes things sound a little less skeevy because — let’s face it — the “teenager” thing was the weirdest part about this. Naturally, I wanted to know whether this chick was really a “teenager,” so I asked Eli himself, and he answered with the following:

HA HA HA. She’s 21. And I dare not reveal her identity. Yeah, it was kinda high school, but we were in the back row!

Okay, she’s not a teenager. Yet, considering Eli’s past stance on, well, 21-year olds, it seems slightly odd that he’d publicly suck face with a 21-year old. Then again, it’s really none of our business, and if a 64-year old John Fowles went to bed with a 21-year old (who curiously modelled herself on Fowles’ main character in The French Lieutenant’s Woman), I guess anything is possible. Fowles also once tellingly spoke of the connection between fiction and reality: “You are every character you write.” While that’s a debatable statement, I still sort of wonder what Fowles would have to say about this out-of-context but hilariously appropriate photo of Eli:

UPDATE: For some worthwhile information on an actual issue relevant to society, do check out Eli’s blog about the new censorship laws in Germany. If you care at all about freedom from censorship, you should also read this article: Does Movie Violence Increase Violent Crime? The answer may surprise you.