Note to self: Don’t ever let Christina Aguilera decorate for any of my parties. She and husband Jordan Bratman are raising their new baby Max Liron Bratman according to Jewish tradition, and little Max’s first encounter with that tradition was his bris, which ought to teach him that Judaism isn’t all fun and games. Although Christina did think the schvantz-trimming was a fine time for a party:

It was a very sweet experience; we had a lot of close friends come over and experience the bris with us. We’re such a non-conventional couple, we had a lot of penis balloons everywhere.

Plenty of Jewish parents celebrate the bris with family and friends, but I can’t help but think this particular celebration is going to come back to haunt Max somewhere down the line. Those recurring dreams where he’s a little tiny fellow surrounded by floating penises, clutched by his gigantic mommy as a strange man takes a blade to his junk, are going to provide fodder for many, many, therapy sessions in about twenty years’ time. No telling whether it will make things better or worse if Christina shows him the party photos.