London’s annual Celebrity Soccer Six charity football tournament is generally an amusing affair, with English rock bands and reality television stars pretending to be professional athletes while smoking ciggies on the sidelines. Pete Doherty has made a recent habit of competing in this event, and he’s done so in a highly entertaining manner but without much sportsmanship. In 2007, Razorlight’s Johnny Borrell actually lost the ball to Doherty, who shocked everyone by scoring the winning goal of the tournament for Babyshambles. Then, Pete used his trophy to demolish a camera crew.

In 2008, however, Pete was fresh out of yet another round of detox/rehab and, apparently, forgot that, in footie, one shouldn’t use hands to catch the ball. Babyshambles failed to retain their title and, as you can see, Pete did not approve of the decisions made by the referrees.

Now, let’s check up on Babyshambles’ strategy to recapture their championship in 2009 . . .

This past weekend, even Carl Barat showed up to support Pete and his team, and the tournament saw a return to victory by Babyshambles! Hey, wait a fucking second . . . it seems that the entire Babyshambles team was made up of decoys, “ none of whom were actually in the band.” What a bunch of wankers.