Last year, Justin Gimelstob retired after twelve years on the professional tennis circuit and looked forward to some new tennis-related career—maybe a little game commentary, maybe an administrative post at the higher levels of the game. But after his remarks on a Washington radio show last week, Gimelstob might want to look for work that has less to do with tennis. Or talking.

In the course of a one-hour interview, Gimelstob did his best to set a new record for high-speed douchebaggery. He called French players Tatiana Golovin and Alize Cornet “sexpots,” remarked on the dearth of lesbians on today’s pro circuit compared to the early Nineties, and gave a friendly shout-out to Anna Kournikova, whom he trained with as a junior and was due to play later this month. Gimelstob called her a “bitch,” said “I despise her to the maximum level just below hate,” and added:

“I’m going to serve it right at the body, about 128 [mph], right into her midriff” …. “If she’s not crying by the time she comes off court then I did not do my job.”

There was much, much more—too much to recount here, but enough to land Gimelstob in a world of hurt. He made a public apology on his blog, but not quickly enough to escape tons of criticism and a month’s suspension without pay from the Association of Tennis Professionals. After his suspension lapses, Gimelstob might want to consaider taking up a quieter, more solitary sport—ice fishing, maybe. I hear some of those pro ice fishing babes are real sexpots.