Making the strongest case ever against freedom of the press, Paris Hilton has announced that she and her she-sibling Nicky are negotiating with Interscope’s head honcho Ted Fields to produce a weekly animated series based on the adventures of the two madcap heiresses. According to Fields…
Oh, the hell with it. I’ve got neither the heart nor the stomach to go on with this story. I’ll just say that if this project ever appears on the tube, my last TV-related purchase will be the axe handle that I use to dismantle my set with extreme thoroughness and brutality. I was raised to believe that television was my friend, and no friend will ever betray me like that without paying a terrible price. After that, I’ll be getting a vasectomy, because I don’t want to bring children into a world where evil like this can exist. No anesthetic, thank you. The pain will help to take my mind off of Paris the Toxic Toon.
Cartoonist Glen Hanson has created models for the animated Nicky and Paris and her little dog Ratoncito or whatever she calls it, that might or might not resemble the final product. You can see them at the Superficial, but–you don”’t want to do that Trust me on this one. I am your friend (unlike Television that faithless bastard), and I wouldn”’t steer you wrong.
Do not. Click. On the link.
