Hey y’all! I just want to clear up some of those false tabloid stories. AGAIN. Like it’s all about me being preggers again. I just wanna say that in the first place, in order to get pregnant, a married couple has to be having that sexual intercourse stuff. Secondly, would a pregnant Southern lady such as myself really be drinking Cosmos if she was in a delicate state?
Okay, so maybe I just let the cat outta the bag that me and that BIG FUCKING LOSER Kevin are havin’ some troubles. Maybe those false tabloids aren’t so false about that little detail. But I’m HAPPY, you hear that, Kevin? I’ve never been happier, and now I got me a baby boy who’s gonna love me forevah no matter what. No matter if I get fat, or if I whine, or if I call him a BIG POT-SMOKING LOSER, Sean Preston will always love his momma no matter what.
I really do look awfully happy in this picture, don’t I? Brad Pitt makes me all hott and stuff kinda like that it used to be with that one Justin guy whose real name I HAVE FORGOTTEN. Seriously y’all, I’m just SO happy to be SO BUSY with getting my singing career started again and with MY BABY who looks JUST LIKE ME THANK GOD. I’m just so happy finally being me and what they say about child stars is SO true that we never really get to develop our own identity and stuff and that’s what I’m doing and that’s like really hard, y’all. Isn’t that great?
So I don’t know about me and Brad Pitt. Do we make a cute couple, y’all? If I divorce THAT BIG STUPID KEVIN then maybe Brad would adopt my little orphan and my THIRD marriage would be happy. I just wanna be happy is that so much to ask? CALL ME CALL ME CALL ME BRAD PITT PLEASE!
12 comments
Who’d a thought she’d turn into Roseanne after 1 yr of marriage?
I just wanna be happy is that so much to ask?
In her case, yes.
Um…I was tempted to lick that picture too.
Getting an early jump on White Trash Wednesday, I see….
No way! Britney Spears doesn’t have a desk. You can’t even fit a desk into a double-wide, not if you want to leave room for the plasma-screen TV….
Good point, Utron. I guess that would be a Tee-Vee tray in her case, if she moved the Cheetos out of the way.
I guess that would be a Tee-Vee tray in her case,
…and WebTV, most likely.
I’m sure I’m going to alienate several thousand people and sound like a big ol’ Mommy here, but –
I don’t get the Brad Pitt thing. Seriously. To me, he generally looks like he needs a shave and a shower.
And that’s when he “cleans up.”
I guess the same can be said for Brit, hey?
And that’s when he “cleans up.�
I guess the same can be said for Brit, hey?
Dunno. As soon as she cleans up, let me know, and I’ll see if I can tell.
I just want to say to Britney if your listening not to worry about all the Social Svs crap in the tabloids. If anyone out there has a head on their shoulders they will know that their kid has fallen and bumped their head and everything else more times than they can count. Your a new mom and I remember how it was, thinking the 1st time my son fell off the bed, what a terrible mom I was!!!! Hang in there, and your right, your son will always love you no matter what.
britney ROCKS , and will always be the best, no matter what people says! , she is BRITNEY and thats all..
britney,i just wanna say u look good with the hair shaved and im a nobody who as ur self has a baby the same age as sean and know how hard it can b if u wanna talk about anything!!u can e-mail me!!even if u wanna get away from it all i satay in a quite little scottish village were u would go un noticed!pls take care u look so lost!!
Trackback URL for this post:
http://agentbedhead.com/index.php/archive/from-the-desk-of-britney-spears/trackback/