Dogs are absolutely delightful companions, once you get past their drool problem, their butt-sniffing, their crotch-sniffing, their leg-humping, and their tendency to roll around in any stinking pile of what-the-hell-was-that? that catches their fancy. And, of course, there’s the odor. That last problem has been solved, thanks to the tireless chemists at Sexy Beast, a Manhattan dog-grooming business that takes their work way too seriously. Their dog fragrance (also called Sexy Beast) is just one of dozens that promise to make your dog smell like a French cathouse, although few of them offer the unique Sexy Beast blend of “bergamot and vanilla-infused musk combined with natural patchouli, mandarin and nutmeg oils.”

How this will combine with your pet’s aromatherapy—and face it, anyone who coddles their pet like this is undoubtedly lighting scented candles around the doggie bed—is anyone’s guess, but if you want to impress your animal companion this Christmas a $65-dollar bottle of Sexy Beast might be just the thing. Or you could go all out and spend $850 for the holiday special, encrusted with Swarovski crystals. Or you could just get him a chew toy. I mean, we’re talking about a freakin’ dog here.