Well, I meant to post these pictures yesterday, but crap happens, and the massive pile of Doherty information coming in lately leads me to conclude that another Pete-a-Palooza™ may be on the horizon. Please try to contain your excitement, mates.

Some brave reporter from The Sun put on his wellies for a tour of Pete Doherty’s country home, located in the Wiltshire town of Marlborough. After the tour was complete, it certainly seems that someone got crazy with the Cheezwiz thesaurus:

The singer has carried out some extensive renovation to this charming turn-of-the-century cottage. Period features include a cutting-edge collection of scabs in the bedroom, blood-spattered living room decor and a wild garden feature, at one with nature, at the front. As he proudly shows off Chez Doherty, we marvel at the eclectic collection of rotting food in his bijou hallway kitchen — a minimalist glass-fronted beer fridge… [W]e are lured into Pete’s intimate bedroom. He introduces us to his contemporary no-poster bed — which might appear to the uninitiated to be a grubby sofa with a unique brown and yellow stain-pattern. A sheet and blankets on this cosy couch would just be too much — the fragrant, patchwork tea towel is the only intimate witness to the star’s sweet dreams… Cunningly lit by a single low-wattage bulb, a valued antique judging from its period patina, the living room is the home’s heart.

If this were truly a “cottage,” then all of this wouldn’t seem so odd. Most bachelors, even the drug-free variety, are notoriously disgusting in their housekeeping habits. Hell, I’ve even heard reports of newly attached men totally freaking out when their new girlfriend dares to tidy up the kitchen a bit. Hem hem.

The kicker here is that our antihero is still renting a nine-bedroom estate and former home of Lord Justice Wright of Durley at a rate of $6,000 per month. During Pete’s recent prison stint, our antihero was rumoured to be evicted from the freehold estate, but, luckily, the landlord came forth and informed us that the tabloids were making shit up again. Something tells me this sort of “embellishment” could very well be the case again, but the reporter did quite accurately capture the obligatory wall scribbling that reads, “snort something.” Also, I’m no equestrian, but what’s going on with that horse’s nose? That can’t possibly be normal.