Despite her weirdly self-destructive streak, Lindsay Lohan is fundamentally a simple creature. Give her a water bottle full of Grey Goose, a carton of cigarettes, and the prospect of club-hopping with Hollywood’s riff-raff, and she’ll be happy for at least 24 hours. What’s harder to understand is her taste in men. By now Lindsay has slept with most of the men in southern California, but her list of actual “boyfriends� is both shorter and more peculiar. She’s carommed from Aaron Carter to Wilmer Valderrama to Jared Leto to Bret Ratner to Harry Morton to (most recently) Scott Storch. For those of you keeping track at home, that’s a weenie, a TV star, an actor/singer/blogophobe, a director, rich guy’s son, and a music producer.

Now word is the Mean Girl has hooked up with Joe Francis, owner of the “Girls Gone Wild� franchise and sure to figure on anyone’s Top Ten list of the least datable guys on the planet. The couple cancelled a planned trip to Joe’s estate in Mexico so they could take in all the post-Golden Globes partying, but I’m sure that soon enough Lindsay will be partying south of the border with lots of other college-age girls with shaky morals, self-esteem issues, and poor impulse control. Watch for the upcoming DVD. (Not available in Kansas, North Carolina, and Utah.)