It seems almost cruel to continue our relentless bashing of Tom Cruise right into the holiday season, but I prefer to regard Tom’s amazing ability to behave like an utter lunatic as his Christmas gift to mean-spirited gossip vultures everywhere. In his latest manifestation of not at all crazy behavior, Tom has convinced Posh and Becks to join him and Katie in some horrid ménage à quatre. Supposedly the two couples will exchange vows expressing some vague but excessive commitment at Katie’s New York townhouse. Even Scientologists aren’t down with this arrangement, so presumably Tom dredged the notion up from the depths of his own seething id. The same source also reports that Tom plans to build a replica of the LA Lakers’ Staples Center basketball court for David and his kids, just as a small token of his entirely platonic affection for the guy. Sadly, that’s actually the less crazy aspect of this story.

Besides gossipmongers, two other people who will appreciate this news are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Any time someone suggests the Jolie-Pitt clan is a little unconventional–what with the many kids, and Jennifer Aniston pining away somewhere in the middle distance–Brangelina can snort and say, “Please! Compared to those people, we’re perfectly normal.” Tom Cruise is a giver, no doubt about it.