Matthew McConaughey has done the unthinkable and insisted that for his Dolce & Gabbana campaign, for which he is promoting their new fragrance (The One), different international and U.S. based versions of his billboard adverts shall exist. In Europe and Asia, McConaughey appears the his usual, shirtless mode, in which we are accustomed to viewing him:

However, Americans will only see billboards with a fully-clothed Matty:

“Matthew didn’t want to be bare-chested on billboards in America, although he doesn’t seem to have a problem stripping off in his films.”

Soon, the dude is gonna start wearing shirts in all his films, and — let’s face it — that ain’t gonna fly. Matthew, we only go to your crap films for the shirtless factor. If you want chicks to flock to your movies in droves, you’d best pony up the goods because that thing called acting just isn’t happening lately.

Conveniently, McConaughey has just waged a deal with Anchor Bay Entertainment to bring Surfer Dude (co-produced by Matty himself) to theatres in late August. So, we’ll see Matthew star as a surfer who becomes disenchanted when the waves disappear for an entire surfing season in Malibu. Also making appearances will be Woody Harrelson & Willie Nelson, which makes us wonder how Snoop Dogg isn’t somehow involved. Whatever the case, that McConaughey had better not be wearing a damn shirt.

Meanwhile, there is the always relevant topic of McConaughey’s well-publicized refusal to ever wear deodorant or cologne. (This also brings up the question of why Dolce & Gabbana would hire him as a fragrance spokesperson.) Kate Hudson, who was formerly married to a pot-smoking hippie, couldn’t take Matthew’s body odor while filming Fool’s Gold . Hudson tried to make McConaughey wear deodorant, but the dude refused. So, it’s easy to imagine his response when he received a year’s supply of free Axe body spray with the following letter attached:

“We know that you already have a stunning girl in Camila Alves. But in a survey we recently conducted, nearly nine out of ten girls (89 per cent) told us that they would turn down a guy because he smelled bad - no matter how in-shape or successful he is.

“We read that you ‘never use deodorant’ and we sure want you to keep Camila around, so we’ve enclosed a one year supply of the new Axe Bullet, the first pocket-sized deodorant body spray for guys. We know that you’re always on-the-go and like to travel light, so this handy little gadget should fit perfectly into your active lifestyle!”

Oh, right. That sort of language must have worked wonders immediately.

More pictures of a shirted McConaughey below. Do. Not. Want. This.

Images: Gossip Girls & Popwrap