Most people, at least the ones in my head, remember The Outsiders rather fondly. This was a movie that had plenty of violence and testosterone floating around for the male audience and plenty of eye candy for us girls. After all, the film’s audience didn’t yet realize that Matt Dillon is a douche. And, just by looking at the above press still, one can easily ascertain that Emilio Estevez and Rob Lowe were sex on legs. As Ponyboy Curtis, C. Thomas Howell was cute as hell. Patrick Swayze wasn’t quite Johnny Castle yet, but that’s some damn convincing anguish up there. (As an aside, Swayze is in better health than the tabloids would have us believe.) Moving further along to the right… what the hell?

How exactly did we not notice — that is, until just a few years ago — that Tom Cruise has always been a bit, um, off? The Outsiders hit theaters in 1983, and Tom’s overreaching lunacy is so bloody evident in these film stills that it’s hard to believe the general public ever found this guy appealing. More displays of Cruise craziness are below. In the leftmost piccie, it’s easy to see why the Poison Dwarf made #2 on the Hollywood’s Smallest Penis list. Also, check out Francis Ford Coppola giving direction and Ralph Macchio in his adorable phase. Sigh.

Imagery: Celebutopia