Early reviews are filtering in for the Tom “Jerry McGuire Accent” Cruise film, you know, the “We must kill Hitler” film, and things don’t look good. In fact, “several industry insiders” who claim to have seen screenings of Valkyrie and who acknowledge that the film is a competent one and somewhat absorbing, but the problem is that there’s no bloody audience who wants to watch it:

“You sit there and say, Who am I selling this movie to? Who’s the audience? And the answer is, No one.”

Indeed, the marketing problems for “Valkyrie” are huge . . . . And it’s not like there won’t be big box office stars in theatres that week. Brad Pitt, Will Smith, and Jim Carrey all have releases out one week earlier.

That, compounded with the obvious: watching Hitler kill off his would-be assassins isn’t exactly holiday fare. The movie ends with the most evil person who ever lived murdering the “good guys.” Theres no happy ending, that’s for sure.

“You just don’t know which set of bad Germans to root for,” one source told me. “There are no heroes, that’s for sure.”

There’s also, apparently, no mention of the atrocities for which we now blame Hitler. No Holocaust, for example. “It’s just discussed that Hitler is ruining Germany’s legacy and that the war is not good for history. All the other stuff, you’re just supposed to know that’s going on in the background.”

Bloody hell. The notion of an intended audience is the first thing anyone learns in an introductory writing course of any sort, even the reprobate type. Now, it looks like this $100 million film might just put United Artists out of business yet again.