Tom Cruise must be busting his buttons following Germany’s Bambi Awards. This surreal image shows the “dimunitive Cruise” the “statuesque Holmes” posing on the red carpet. Poor slouching Katie will probably never achieve good posture after her marriage to Tom ends. In addition, Katie Holmes “sleek new bob” is admittedly glamourous, it really seems more in tune with The Crying Game than Louise Brooks. At the awards, Cruise accepted the “courage” award, and naturally, he treated the audience to a Gratuitously Insincere speech. Celebitchy tuned in from her European location and described Tom’s appropriation of the stage:

I just watched Cruise’s acceptance speech and he rambled on for more than five minutes. He was given the award after a long montage was shown featuring practically every movie he’s ever appeared in, so maybe he was feeling particularly nostalgic. Even though I didn’t understand all of it I was starting to feel embarrassed for him.

When Cruise returned to his seat, Katie Holmes smiled slightly and looked down, you could totally tell that she was embarrassed by how effusive he was. I love the German people too, I married one, but there’s no reason to go on and on about it and philosophize without end at an awards show.

Gahhhhhh. This makes me thankful that the Oscar awards, speechmakers are granted a certain amount of time, and the producers aren’t at all afraid to start playing cue music when a winner exceeds his quota.

Meanwhile, rumours are springing forth that Cruise is keen to reprise his role as the Vampire Lestat. (Coincidentally, Neil Jordan directed both The Crying Game and Cruise himself in Interview with The Vampire.) Apparently, United Artists is trying to purchase the rights to Anne Rice’s The Tale Of The Body Thief, and since UA is currently helmed by Cruise, this could very well be true. Cinematical lists the reasons why this would be a disasterous film and ends with the following:

Not to mention Cruise’s avoidance of the obvious homoerotic content to the original story — although kudos to Antonio Banderas and Brad Pitt for being the only two actors in that film to even hint at a little vampire on vampire action.

While I hate to admit that I did enjoy Cruise in Interview, he’s certainly a different sort of movie star nowadays. It seems doubtful that he could pull off Body Thief, which was arguably the weakest of Anne Rice’s five Vampire Chronicles novels that feature the Lestat character. Tom Cruise might be a good actor, but only if he’s got great material to work with.