Honestly and in spite of the presence of Tom Cruise (who is allegedly preparing for a film role) in the audience of Hollywood’s Pantages Theatre production of the Rock of Ages musical, I’m a little bit in love with anything that’s described in terms of an “utterly unironic combination of mascara and machismo.” The LA Times has a rather interesting column that sort of reviews the production but concludes with the following missive:

“Rock of Ages” should be particularly buzz-worthy in its two-week Pantages run (followed by eight performances in Costa Mesa) thanks to breaking news that producers of a big=budget movie adaptation are circling around names like Tom Cruise, Mary J. Blige and Anne Hathaway. There is no doubt a film adaptation will see a million faces and rock them all, in the words of the sage. So let’s just hope a screenwriter is already hard at work ditching dialogue like “He’s a star, and stars are undeniable, like herpes.” Because herpes plus time is still not quite comedy.

Yeah, if Cruise really appears in the movie, they’re totally going to need some rewrites. After all, high-level Scientologists are immune to the common cold and herpes. Right, Tom?