Halloween is always the season for Pete Doherty, and in style, the engagement rumours between Pete Doherty and Kate Moss have been confirmed. At a recent Moet & Chandon masked ball in London, Moss said, “We are engaged.” Pete decided to translate that for the slightly dodgy among the crowd by mumbling, “We are getting married.” Good plan.

Meanwhile, Pete is overjoyed to be engaged to a supermodel with an abundant closet, as he’s taken to wearing Kate’s clothing, not to mention her makeup cache.

“Oh year I love them - especially the eyeliner. It’s a laugh as it can make the right changes to your features.

“I just don’t get all the fuss when people see fellas wearing women’s clothes.

“I mean, I love Kate’s stuff and have tried some bits on. What’s wrong with that?

“Footwear is the key and it make you feel good…very good, if you get my drift.”

Pete also unwittingly dressed up as Gollum (thanx to Flea for the association) following a fist fight with an Italian paparazzo that eight thousand websites in unison have deemed the “bloody brawl.” A witness characterized Doherty’s head as “dripping with blood,” and his band members are said to have armed themselves with metal ashtrays to use as weapons in the brawl. Bloody fooking hell!

Doherty also seeks to impersonate an actual rock star by planning his marriage venue at the Marylebone Register Office in London. Many famous rock n’ roll couples have taken their vows in the old Marylebone town hall, which has been renamed as Westminster Register Office. The aforementioned wedded include Paul and Linda McCartney (1969) and Liam Gallagher and Patsy Kensit (1997).

Finally, Kate aims to make sure she gets down the aisle with her junkie by threatening Pete’s groupies with legal action. Four girls followed the couple into a Primrose Hill restaurant, Kate invited them to join them:

“…on the condition they waited for her legal advisor. According to the Daily Star, when the advisor showed up, Moss made the four girls sign a temporary injunction that prevented the girls going anywhere near the couple again.”