We all have ways of dealing with pop culture annoyances. In this case, the ubiquity of the Jonas Brothers has resulted in many varying forms of complaint. Some give them the trashing they so richly deserve, and others scoff knowingly at their purity rings. Still others post video clips of one of them tripping over his own feet and generally looking like a well-coiffed idiot. Hell, even Eli Roth has formed his own passive-aggressive form of protest by listing them as one of his must-liked musical acts right above the space where he says, “I don’t watch movies, they cause too much violence.” Oh, that’s just charming.

Now, imagine for a moment, purely hypothetically speaking, that you’re helping a seven-year old girl ready herself for the school year. As you pass through the brightly-coloured aisles of your local Target, you (quite powerfully) deny her the Jonas Brothers backpacks, the Jonas Brothers lunchboxes, the Jonas Brothers folders and notebooks, and, finally, the Jonas Brothers sneakers. Just no, no, no, alright?

Later, after a much-deserved little nap, you wake up absolutely enraged when Joe Jonas (who, much to your relief, is 18-years old), appears in one of your dreams. No it wasn’t a sex dream, but there was a fair amount of make-out action going on. Still, it pisses you off that these three future reprobates are intruding upon all areas of your life.

At least Joe is the one with decent hair. Little bastard.