Stories about Marilyn Manson and his social/romantic life almost invariably write themselves. Sooner or later he’ll settle down with some former Suicide Girl, and they’ll form a violent, dysfunctional relationship with Sid Vicious/Nancy Spungen overtones, and we’ll all nod and say, “Yeah, that makes sense.” But until then, Manson + practically anything human sounds like a complete mismatch. Still, this particular mashup is even more jarring than usual. Emma Watson, it’s claimed, will be joining forces with Manson to star in a goth rewrite of Cinderella. It will be Miss Watson’s first venture outside the hallowed walls of Hogwarts, and she knows perfectly well how ridiculous this sounds:

She saw how Daniel Radcliffe managed to branch out into something completely different when he starred in ‘Equus’ and thinks this could do the same for her — after all, who’d guess she’d want to team with Marilyn Manson, of all people.

Okay, fine. As long as they keep it professional. Emma’s always struck me as a fairly grounded and classy young woman, and watching Marilyn work his wiles on her and remake her into some ditzy version of Dita von Teese 3.0 would be a far from pretty sight.