Say what you will about the internet—with its annoying spammers, its torrent of pr0n, its snidely smartass bloggers cracking wise about celebrities and pop culture—it’s still an unparalleled educational tool. Take Miss Bimbo, for instance. The RPG website is aimed at girls 9 to 16, and in the last month 200,000 of them have signed up to learn valuable real world skills. As the game says: “Don’t forget that the aim is to be the coolest, richest, and most famous bimbo in the whole world/game. In order to do this, you must complete the Goals!” From the link:

Level 7
After you broke up with your boyfriend you went on an eating binge! Now it’s time to diet . . . Your target weight is less than 132lbs
Level 9
Have a nip and tuck operation for a brand new face. You’ve found work as a plus-size model. To gain those vivacious curves, you need to weigh more than 154lbs
Level 10
Summertime is coming up and bikini weather is upon us. You want to turn heads on the beach don’t you?
Level 11
Bigger is better! Have a breast operation
Level 17
There is a billionaire on vacation . . . You must catch his eye and his love! Good luck

Boob jobs cost 11,500 bimbo dollars and earn the implantee 2000 bimbo attitude points, which make it easier to pick up virtual Brandon Davises in the game’s various virtual clubs. Text messaging on the site costs three real-world dollars a pop, but at least parents can rest easy knowing their money is being spent to train a corps of strong, resourceful celebutards for the next generation.