Well, I’m just gonna own up to the reality that, every damn time I write about Mickey Rourke, you’re gonna see a Toni Basil reference. Deal with it, bitches.

Across the pond in jolly old London, Mickey recently enjoyed a night of barhopping that was quite lovely, notwithstanding the presence of Leonardo DiCaprio, who got pissy every time a fan even wanted to snap a picture. After an entire night of Leo whining and, literally, wishing death upon photogs, Rourke became fed up with his companion’s primadonna attitude.

So, Mickey strategically undid his button fly and hung out with a few paparazzi for awhile, during which time he branded Leo an “asshole,” knocked down a road barricade, and pretended that the camera was his penis. At some point, the potato in his pants disappeared, but not even this omission affects the fact that Mickey Rourke is so cool.

Imagery: BauerGriffin Online