And Judge Michael T. Sauer just became my new best friend. Paris was picked up this morning by an LAPD black-and-white after the LA County Sheriff’s Department. Once she arrived at court, Judge Sauer wasted little time in telling Paris to go directly to jail: do not go home, do not stop at Hyde for a last round of drinks. Paris was escorted out of the courtroom (“physically escorted” was the term used) by a female deputy, screaming “Mom, Mom,” as she was dragged down the corridor.

So the most hated girl in the world is back in the slammer, and justice has been served, more or less. She’ll still get credit for the five days she served, but for the next few weeks the embargo on Paris stories is back in force, at least until she tries to tunnel out of her cell using an old coke spoon or something equally idiotic.