Remember Knut, the terrifyingly adorable polar bear cub who won German hearts almost as effortlessly as Der Fuehrer? Well, Knut isn’t a cub anymore, and like many former child stars, his transition to adulthood is proving to be a bit rocky. In fact, Knut’s keeper describes the husky young carnivore as “a publicity-addicted psycho” whose mental health is deteriorating by the day. According to keeper Markus Roebke:

We are not allowed to have contact with him any more and have received letters that if we breach this order our jobs are on the line. He is too unpredictable to play with now. He is addicted to the whole show, the human adulation. It is not healthy. He actually cries out or whimpers if he sees that there is not a spectator outside his enclosure ready to ooh and aah at him.

Presumably it’s just a matter of time before Knut learns to get the crowd’s attention by flashing his genitals at them. Then, a few months after that, comes the head-shaving. Eventually he might regain a tiny scrap of his dignity by making a guest appearance on How I Met Your Mother, but I wouldn’t count on it. These comparisons can only be pushed so far.