Actor/writer/producer Johnathon Schaech, who has appeared in such films as The Doom Generation, Hush, Quarantine & Prom Night, is looking for love, presumably, in all the wrong places. Schaech, divorced after a 7-year marriage to Kelly Bundy Christina Applegate and recently “played” by an unidentiied female, has declared his newly-single status on his MySpace page, which points to a more comprehensive personal ad of sorts on his own website:

Johnathon is single again
Any takers?

I’m single. Broken hearted. Older then I look.
I want someone who can understand and love me. I want that person to respect family values and themselves.
I want someone who looks past petty things and has a sense of integrity.
I wanna be able to move somewhere better to raise children and I want someone who’s independant [sic] and adventerous [sic].
Age doesn’t matter. Outside of acting and writing.
I love sports, dogs, cats, Baltimore, red wine, sex : ) and politics.
I’m a very busy man trying hard to make things happen in Hollywood. I need someone who doesn’t take away from me, but makes me better.

Hmm, this seems like a truly disastrous approach for a Hollywood type, that is, if used for purposes other than self-validation. Don’t get me wrong — Schaech is a good-looking guy — but is he seriously attempting to find women via MySpace and Twitter? This sort of reminds of Rob Pattinson’s admission that he took his own stalker to dinner, which didn’t work out quite so well. Methinks Schaech just needs to chill a bit and not be in such a hurry to find another ex-wife, which is usually what happens when one rushes into things. If it’s any consolation, I do find it rather impressive that the guy uses a 17-incher during his naked laptop sessions. Rowrr.