He made it out of All Dogs Go to Heaven 2 with his dignity, self esteem, and voracious sex drive intacttwo out of three, anyway–but the drawn-out divorce/custody battle with Denise Richards may be too much for Charlie Sheen. Denise convinced the judge to give her custody of the couple’s two daughters, Sam (three) and Lola (two), and then promptly demonstrated her fitness as a mother by giving the two kids roles on her new reality show. This latest development has Charlie singing the blues:
Charlie told me he knows his reputation precedes him, but he sees Kevin Federline consistently winning child custody issues in court – while he gets the shaft every time…. Charlie absolutely loathes Denise and he’s just waiting for her to screw up.
In fact, Sheen is actively urging people to boycott the show (as if any sane person thought watching it was really an option), and at least one source says he’s ready to deliver the beatdown to Ryan Seacrest for his part in this abomination (scroll down to “This Week in Cage Matches We’d Pay to See”). Meanwhile, when you think of Charlie Sheen, remember: Despite the drugs, the partying, the infidelity, the dubious internet porn, despite his generally unhinged lifestyle, this man actually envies Kevin Federline. No roster of crimes deserves a punishment like that.
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I like Charlie Sheen, in spite of (or possibly because of) every reason you’ve listed above.
Denise Richards is a raving lunatic. I listened to an interview with her once where she described the process of disinfecting a hotel room when she stays in one. She carries a kit with her and she won’t touch anything in the room until it’s been cleaned. Phones, doorknobs, everything.
Now she is not the kind of complete batshit crazy that Britney is, and I suppose that is the source of his frustration. HE knows how nuts she is, and everyone who has ever interacted with her knows it also, but it is not apparent to the public (which hurts his image). She also is (probably) not doing anything to endanger the kids, so she isn’t going to lose custody of them either, regardless of how much of a psychotic bitch she acts towards him — and I have no doubt she is capable of much psychotic bitchery.
On the plus side, you have to admire the guy a little for actually giving a crap about his kids. It’s almost unfashionable these days.
Hang in there, man.
Charlie’s no angel, but I suspect the picture Denise painted in divorce court was just a wee bit slanted. And I’ll always admire him as Topper Harley in Hot Shots:
Topper: That’s a very… alluring perfume you’re wearing.
Ramada: It’s Vicks Vap-O-Rub. I have a cold.
Yeah, well, consider what I said above and now imagine what having sex with Denise Richards is like. Jerking off to porn was probably more fulfilling and less humiliating.
Really what I’d like to know is what the hell he was thinking when he married her. Maybe he wonders the same thing though.
I think they’re both pretty pathetic for various reasons, but it sounds like Denise has a moderate to severe case of OCD.
Probably nothing that a hefty dosage of Luvox wouldn’t cure, and she’d probably also be a far happier person as a result.
Actually I think you’re onto something. I remember thinking “wow, she’s like Howard Hughes, except without the brains or the money”.
Of course if she doesn’t consider it a problem (she certainly didn’t seem to in the interview), she’s not going to take medication for it.
Well, I’ve been in some shitty hotel rooms myself…
I’m glad Charlie cares about his girls, don’t get me wrong, but the years have not been kind to his face.
To me he’ll always be that stoner in Ferris Bueller….
this man actually envies Kevin Federline
Charlie, I didn’t know. I’m sorry. Maybe someone will show you some mercy and just, I dunno, end your misery.
It’s too bad for the kids every time parents get divorced and can’t put aside their differences for the kids’ sake. I mean, unless one parent seriously fears for the kids’ safety when their with the other parent (which I think Kevin Federline has the right to do — frankly I wouldn’t want Britney seeing the kids AT ALL at this point) then they ought to accept that they are no longer married and put aside the bullshit and their differences so the kids can have the healthiest possible relationship with their parents. This whole thing smacks of using the kids as leverage to hurt the other person, and that isn’t fair to ANYONE involved.