You’ll probably want to let breakfast settle for a bit—maybe a day or two—before you click on this link. The somewhat NSFW Save Manny has assembled a truly evil gallery of The World’s Worst Celebrity Tattoos. Not ugly tats on celebrities—those are a dime a dozen, but they tend to be run-of-the-mill ugly. (Baby names, of course, are where celebs really let their crap-light shine.) No, these are tats of celebrities on the bodies of regular Joes and Jills. Everyday people. People who ought to be under a restraining order that keeps them at least 500 yards away from the gene pool at all times.

Seriously, this is skin art that takes you straight into a new and hideous world. Like most people, I’ve always regarded Kevin Federline as just about the stupidest biped this side of a decapitated chicken. But getting inked up with a portrait of KFed is transcendentally stupid. That’s a fashion statement that tells the world: “I am a freakin’ Zen Master of idiocy. Bow down, for I am the Toxic Avenger of jackassitude.�

You probably think that I cherry-picked the gallery so I could illustrate this post with the most appallingly stupid tattoo out of the whole bunch. Honestly, that’s not the case. And Lord almighty, how I wish it were.