It’s been said that conflict can be the inspiration for great art. Or not, as the ongoing battle between rap producers Timbaland and Scott Storch demonstrates all too clearly. I’ve been giving this story the attention it deserves (i.e., none), but I gather that each of these gentlemen thinks the other isn’t much good. In his latest collaboration, Timbaland said, “I’m a real producer and you [Storch] just the piano man,â€? which led Storch to release a full-length video on the subject of his profound dislike for Timbaland—or Timothy, to use Timba’s real name, as Storch does in the video. Yeah, that’s gonna leave a mark.

Releasing a video proved to be a very bad move. Storch might or might not be a competent producer (although he produced Paris Hilton’s album, so how good can he be?), but as a rapper he actually makes K-Fed look good. This is so hard to believe, or even imagine, that you can’t help but wonder if some serious money was riding on the issue. Maybe Storch made a huge bet with someone else in the industry that he could suck harder than K-Fed, and then moved heaven and earth to reach that goal. Or maybe Storch is just an incredible dweeb. For one thing, the guy looks like this:

For another, this is the guy Lindsay Lohan turned down after he bought her a million dollars’ worth of diamonds. More presentable guys can have a brief fling with La Lohan for the price of a bottle of Grey Goose and a trip past the drive-through window at In-N-Out Burger. Even worse, she dumped him in favor of “Girls Gone Wild” sleazebag Joe Francis. Which tells you where Scott Storch ranks in the hierarchy of hotness.

A couple of Timbaland’s protegés have released songs dissing Storch for dissing Timbaland. Word is that they also suck, but I’ll take other people’s word for that. However, here they are, if you don’t think you’ve suffered enough.