You remember back when you were a kid spending the part of the summer with your Grandparents and walked into the kitchen at the wrong time to see Gramps and Granny getting their freak on. You, and by you I mean we, all spent year after year and thousands of dollars on therapists trying to forget that sight only to have Martha Stewart bring the memories flooding back.

Martha Stewart, the queen of all domestic divas, was on the Howard Stern show last week to celebrate the one year anniversary of them both having shows on Sirius Satellite Radio. During the interview Martha saw fit to reveal that she owns and operates a “marital aide” named “Thumper”.

Martha also said she owns a “a rather special one [marital aide that is], costing $1,200, which she called, ‘a very good tool’.” Maybe Good Vibrations should drop Margaret Cho as their spokesperson and hire Ms. Stewart instead. They’d definitely have an “in” with the older more conservative crowd if they made such a move.

How anyone managed to keep listening after learning about Martha’s toy collection I’ll never know and the information about good vibes wasn’t bad enough she also informed Stern’s listeners that she was “going commando” at that very moment. While the pictures of Martha’s beaver may be getting ready to make their rounds on the intertubes you won’t be hearing about any lesbian love stories from her time in lockdown. It isn’t because her cellmates didn’t try; it’s that she politely declined just before she stuck a shank in that bitch’s kidney.

Hopefully we’ll make it through these final few days of 2006 without ‘sperincing the joy that is another celebrity crotch shot, but I won’t bet on it.