Modern life just keeps getting more and more awesome. Take air travel: Thirty years ago it was a comfortable, even luxurious experience (with SSTs, yet). By the Nineties it was more like a jet-powered version of Greyhound, and today it’s an experience so degrading and infuriating it makes Greyhound look like Hedonism II on wheels. But wait–there’s more! Full body scans for passengers have already been instituted at airports in the UK. Last week UK Transport Minster Lord Adonis assured everyone this was no big deal. The scans didn’t really display the naughty bits; and anyway, they were deleted as soon as airport security determined you weren’t smuggling a high-colonic pipe bomb or something equally deranged. Not so fast, according to Bollywood star Shahrukh Khan (the guy shown above, if you’re not familiar with Bollywoods output):

I was in London recently going through the airport and these new machines have come up, the body scans. You’ve got to see them. It makes you embarrassed – if you’re not well endowed… You walk into the machine and everything – the whole outline of your body 0 comes out… Then I saw these girls – they had these printouts. I looked at them. I thought they were some forms you had to fill. I said “give them to me” – and you could see everything inside. So I autographed them for them.

So: What have we learned from this story?

• Shahrukh Khan seems to be a nice guy with a decent sense of humor.
• For your future travel plans, expect to be humiliated if you’re not in shape. If you are, expect the security staff to make copies of your scans for their personal amusement.
• Britain has a Transport Minister named Lord Adonis, which might be the coolest name of the entire twenty-first century. In fact, I’m adopting that as my online name before anyone else gets their hands on it.