Sunday night Monte Carlo played host to the World Music Awards, which might as well have been the funeral service for the Death of Pop Music. Need proof? According to whoever assigns these awards, Coldplay is now the biggest musical act on the planet. That’s right: a quartet that resembles a less edgy and threatening version of the Dave Matthews Band has now ascended to the heights reserved for the likes of the Beatles and Elvis Presley. The rest of the top award winners do very little to brighten the picture:

• Outstanding Contribution to the Arts: Beyonce
• Special Achievement Award: Mariah Carey
• Best Selling Pop Female: Leona Lewis
• Best Selling Pop Male: Kid Rock (plus two more awards)
• Best Selling Artist from America: Madonna

It’s almost painful to note that Best Selling Pop/Rock Female goes to Amy Winehouse, who hasn’t released anything but the stench of imminent death for two years now. Actually, this award ceremony sounds about as disconnected from musical reality as the Grammys, but at least Madonna can derive some consolation from knowing that a bunch of aging music execs down in Monte Carlo still think she’s the bee’s knees.