Let’s face it: Adam Lambert’s big breakout performance at the American Music Awards last week was oddly impressive. Sort of like watching a first-time race car driver rev the engine, go roaring off the starting line, and plow straight into a wall. Lambert still isn’t apologizing (exactly) for the incident, but at least he has an explanation for the groping, the simulated BJ, and the godawful screechy singing. You see, it all goes back to the tragedy of teenage obesity:

I suffered from a little bit of an ugly-duckling complex in my early 20s. When I was in high school I was 250 pounds and that creates some stuff … some body image stuff, some confidence issues. And I got a lot of my confidence from the validation I got as a performer.”

Psychologist/celebrity enabler Cooper Lawrence offers some rambling comments in an attempt to explain this theory. Actually, to me it makes perfect sense. I think we all remember how the newly slender Jared Fogle terrorized Bloomington, Indiana like some rampant sex-beast that had escaped from the city zoo. Hopefully Lambert has now resolved this issue and can focus on putting on a better thought out show. Of course, he still has to deal with the trauma associated with teenage acne. Seeing him work through that onstage might not be pretty.