Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Bad enough that Joe Francis got off with probation and a fine when charged with exploiting underage girls in his Girls Gone Wild videos. (In fairness, Joe is so blatantly sleazy that any girl who would sign a release to appear in one of his videos in exchange for a free t-shirt would probably send her PIN number to a spammer from the Nigerian Finance Ministry. There’s just no protecting some people.) Worse that he wants to brainwash a wider pool of gullible females with his Girls Gone Wild clothing line. Now, the sleazemeister is trying to trick me into putting some of his disgusting retail products in my mouth, by opening a line of Girls Gone Wild restaurants. The first two are supposed to open by the end of this year in Cancun and Cabo San Lucas, and Joe promises, “In some countries, we’ll do topless optional at night.”

Joe has a proven track record of selling crappy, sleazy videos, and he’s making a credible attempt to sell crappy, sleazy clothing. Somehow I doubt that “Girls Gone Wild’Down Your Throat!” is going to be a four-star dining experience. But if you insist on going there, a word of advice: avoid the Secret Sauce. I hear it’s Joe’s personal recipe, if you know what I mean.