So, the word on the street is that David Beckham either has an impressively huge penis, stuffs his underwear with rolls of quarters, or some poor Armani employee spent forever perfecting that crotch. Hell, I bet that “shadow effect” alone took a good few hours to get things looking just right. In regard to the *ahem* ambiguity concerning this riveting issue, Holy Moly drops this little tidbit:

Armani was supposed to release a behind-the-scenes ‘viral’ video of the recent Beckham in his knickers photoshoot, but pulled it at the last minute as someone pointed out that the size of his package was noticeably less in the video than in the Photoshopped pics.

Well, have you seen this video? I haven’t, and you’d think that Armani would want to release it… if this footage were flattering to the subject at hand.

Obviously, Armani digitally enhances Becks’ package to do the following: (1) Encourage massive puddles of drool from straight women and gay men; (2) Foster the false belief that if men wear Armani underwear, their crotch will automagically look just like Becks’ package.

Oh, of course men wouldn’t be silly enough to emulate David Beckham, right?

Wrong-o.

The Proof In Two Words: The Boyzillian