Each night, the Jonas Brothers must cry themselves to sleep at the realization that there is one dude, Robert Pattinson, who, merely by running a hand through his unwashed hair, elicits more fangirl screams than the collective inferior brothers. With that inarguable truth established, Popbitch brings us this bizarre quote from Rob:

A mother recently gave me her baby and asked me: “Can you please bite her head?”

Naturally, I read this and shook my head in disbelief that any halfway decent mother would make such a brazenly childish request to the Most Handsome Man in the World who, inexplicably, still needs a run through the carwash. Then, sheer curiousity gripped me, and I was able to quickly locate the above photo and below fragmented account of this true story from one of those rabid Twilight-oriented forums:

So first off let me tell you how dumb I felt going to the set with a baby! I’m one of those moms that nurses for a year, so my babies pretty much go where I go if it is for a long time! This little girl of mine truly is a Twilight Baby! She has been apart of this obbession [sic] since she was a couple months old!

. . . .

So, I sent my baby off with a vampire!!! I’ve endangered my baby by letting her be held, and kissed by a bunch of vampires!! I hope the social services don’t take me away!!

. . . .

And here it is… Robert biting my baby!! So funny!

While I could tear into this quite easily, it would be more practical to allow you to try and recover your newly deadened brain cells. Besides, this chick sounds like one of those damn Cullenists.