And about time, too. This clip is just one of a whole series of ads that Bauer/Sutherland did for some Japanese concoction called CalorieMate, a high-energy foodthing slow-cooked to perfection by the good folks at Otsuka Pharmaceutical Group, makers of other fine products like Pocari Sweat. Otsuka has run into a spot of trouble lately for slanting some reports on CalorieMate’s miraculous nutritional powers, and all the company’s links for the product seem to have mysteriously disappeared. (Hence the Wikipedia link above.)

Never mind. If Bauer relies on this stuff to get him through one of those action-packed days that runs on Fox for five months at a time, I’m going on an all-CalorieMate diet today. Wouldn’t be difficult, either. The stuff is available in both solid and liquid forms. Or you could opt for the best of both worlds and just go with the slime.