It must be awfully difficult for those ex-lead singers of hair bands, who used to find themselves adorned by worshipful record execs and whorish groupies by the dozen. Nowadays, these guys have blown all their cash up their noses or into their veins and constantly struggle in their endless search for relevance.
On the Adam Carolla Show, Adam and the gang were talking about the wedding of Teresa Strasser, who does the news (and much more) on the show. The topic of choice involved those wedding guests who bring the “plus one” date — the unknown quantity — to the event. Teresa then proposed some ground rules for “plus ones” brought to to weddings and other similar celebrations:
(1) You should have at least known them for at least a year; [2] You should have seen them in at least three to five social situations acting normally. [3] You should be quite certain they’re not a drug addict or alcoholic; and [4] That person should have never been in the band Warrant. (emphasis added)
Members of the band Warrant should, apparently, never be near an open bar. The band’s lead singer, Jani Lane, is married to Teresa’s 2nd cousin, so the dude attended Teresa’s wedding and made a total jackass of himself at the reception. Initially, Lane grabbed every guest in succession to demand they “do a shot” with him. Then, the dude wouldn’t leave Adam alone and subjected everyone to his entire life story as the lead singer of Warrant. (Podcast available here.)
Later, Teresa explained that her father had just emailed her and was also quite upset with the behavior of “Warrant guy,” who, at one point in his drunkenness, had looked down at Teresa’s father and said “I could kick your ass.” (Podcast here.) WTF?
Of course, Jani Lane would probably blame his boorish behavior on booze, but I’m also thinking that, even when sober, he’s probably just a total douchebag. Just a hunch, mates.
Imagery: janilanemusic.com
10 comments
He once believed that people would say his name “Johnny” (His real name is John Kennedy Oswald, no joke) It was a real, actual, not-a-myth, he’s-an-idiot attempt at a “cool” spelling trick.
To this day I hear he hates that the world calls him “Janie.”
Janie I’ve got news for ya: I thought you were a douche even back in the 80s. I’m not really sure what that makes you now, but you should really consider a new career.
(Do I really believe he googles himself to read what people are saying about him? Yes.)
[...] Hysterical story about the lead singer of the 80s hair band, Warrant – Agent Bedhead [...]
I don’t think the father has anything to worry about. I doubt that Jani could kick Doherty’s (or anyone else’s) ass.
What a chav.
slug: he might get a punch or two in but as soon as everyone realized what would happening he’d be beaten senseless by everyone who had to listen to that crap all night long. (And maybe a few who have been waiting 20 years to get him back for making that awful “music”.)
This guy actually had a small part in one of the coolest films ever: High Strung. He played Steve Oedekerk’s asshole rocker neighbour, who was a source of huge frustration.
I had no idea he was in Warrant until now, because I’m not up on eighties hair bands.
Also, I’ve been pronouncing it like Yanni.
In my experience, simply listening to a Warrant album turns you into a douche…
Oh, he’s still got a fart crosswise because of that whole “Cherry Pie” thing. He still bitches about how popular that song was.
Asshat.
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