Jenna Elfman, a rabid scientologist, has done gone and got herself knocked up. They’re claiming for publicity reasons that her baby daddy is her husband Bodhi Elfman.
HOLLYWOOD is about to welcome another celebrity baby. “Dharma & Greg” star Jenna Elfman is expecting her first child, her rep confirmed to Page Six. Elfman and hubby Bodhi Elfman, both Scientologists, have been married for 16 years* and have what is considered to be one of the strongest marriages in a town known for divorces. The actress is said to be about three months pregnant. Mazel tov!
With Tom Cruise being the messiah and what not, coupled with Bodhi and Jenna having been married for eleven (or sixteen depending upon your source)* unfertile years, well, it looks like ole TomKat was called in to be the pitch hitter. And you wouldn’t want to have the Jesus of Scientology’s baby? Unless of course it’s going to lead to another Da Vinci Code type scenario, where Jenna and Tommy’s love child is whisked away in a spaceship so he / she can return in the next millennium to save us from our impending doom.
Among those who won’t be invited to the celebrate the birth** of the latest Scientology creation, besides me, independent film director John Roecker, who apparently isn’t a fan of Scientology.
In June 2006, Elfman and Bodhi Elfman reportedly approached independent film director John Roecker on a street in Los Feliz, California because of a shirt Roecker was wearing that ridiculed Scientology and Scientologists Tom Cruise and John Travolta. (The front of the shirt had a picture of Tom Cruise with the caption “Scientology Is Gay.” The back of the shirt had a picture of John Travolta and the caption “Very Gay.”) Jenna Elfman loudly asked Roecker what crimes he had committed and was so agitated that she continued, “Have you raped a baby?
I’m guessing he won’t be baby-sitting for them any time soon either.
The good news though is with Scientology’s ability to alter and manipulate the space time continuum she should be able to practically pick the minute the spawnling will be born. The bad news, millions of people world wide haven’t figured out what Jenna figured out years ago, AIDS is a state of mind and that people should just, you know, get over it for Xenu’s sake of course. You stupid nonbelievers and your silly little viral infections, when will you ever learn?
*Wikipedia says they’ve been married since ’95 & met in ’91, somebody be doing what they call “the new math” or there may be some type of conversion for Alien vs. Human years in the mix too.
** This of course being the customary feast where the placenta is grilled and served with fava beans and a nice Chianti.
2 comments
This of course being the customary feast where the placenta is grilled
Pardon me whilst I go yack my guts up. Maybe they’d like to fry, that, to?
I didn’t know she was in Lazytown. Or is that picture from PeeWee’s Playhouse?
Anyway… see… here’s why it pays to live in a cave. I have no idea who she is.
But I was a Scientologist. So at least I know for sure I, for one, don’t have to ever worry about AIDS.