Jennifer's Body is DOA. (Can Megan Fox Please Go Away Now?)

By Bedhead in Diablo Cody, Film, Inglourious Basterds, Jennifer Aniston, Katherine Heigl, Matt Damon, Megan Fox, Michael Bay, Quentin Tarantino, Smoking Bolts

Megan Fox in Jennifer's Body

Certainly, nobody saw this one coming. Jennifer’s Body, starring the insufferable Megan Fox, was expected to land somewhere in the $14 million range for its opening weekend. Instead, this horror-comedy finished in fifth place with an estimated $6.8 million. It lost to the “Food Falling from the Sky” family movie, the “Matt Damon as a Fattie” movie, the newest “Tyler Perry in Drag” movie (and a holdover at that), and the latest mutation of “Jennifer Aniston is a Pathetic Singleton” movie.

While some people will see this as a significant dent in Diablo Cody’s otherwise shiny scriptwriting career, I don’t think Cody is to blame here. Instead, I’m fairly certain that theatergoers are just entirely sick of Megan Fox running her bitchy, unrepentant mouth and acting as if she’s indispensible to the Hollywood machine. Fox had better stop drawing ill-conceived Hitler analogies towards director Michael Bay, because, at this point, she needs him much more than he needs her in his next big-ass-robots movie.

Congratulations, Megan. You totally managed to out-Heigl Katherine Heigl and beat that bitch to her very own finish line!

In more positive news, Inglourious Basterds did manage to pass Pulp Fiction as Tarantino’s highest domestic grosser, despite the fact that this slacker still hasn’t made it to the theater. That’s a bingo!


Okay. Megan Fox in a cheerleader outfit: yeah, that works. Megan Fox with cheesy CGI fangs: FAIL.

Meaning: I will netflix it and search for the cheerleader scene. I will never watch the rest of the movie. 40 million other red-blooded males have already decided the same thing. No one else was ever going to see it anyway.

09.21.09 | 4:08 am

I don’t know why this is a surprise, she’s an insufferable poseur that people were over in 5 mins

09.21.09 | 8:44 am
I R A Darth Aggie

Jvon, don’t forget the faux-lesbo scene.


09.21.09 | 9:13 am

Ah, the lesbian scene too. But from what I hear even though it’s got an R rating, there is no nudity in it. wtf?

09.21.09 | 12:15 pm

And I’ve been saying she’s a no-talent hack for quite awhile now. She’s got pretty eyes and that’s about it. The tits are fake, the lips are pumped full of collagen (and probably have been surgically altered as well), and closeups of her face aren’t all that flattering.

The main reason she’s attractive right now (and I use that phrase deliberately) is that she’s a 21 year old that makes a big show out of acting sex-crazed. Well, that’s terrific — but it doesn’t make for a film career, and the appeal of it drops off exponentially as she gets older. (As Britney, Lohan, and others can attest).

All signs point to a flame-out with this one.

09.21.09 | 12:20 pm

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09.21.09 | 3:06 pm

[...] Jennifer’s Body DOA (can Megan Fox please go away now?) [Agent Bedhead] [...]

09.21.09 | 9:52 pm

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