The rumours have been swirling mildly amidst the news of Shiloh Jolie-Pitt’s birth, and indeed, Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey have finally confirmed their relationship as a dating couple.

“They are very happy,” according to People Magazine, and what a classy pairing this makes. After all, Jenny McCarthy has let the press in on her seekrit to romantic success: “My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.”

Jim Carrey is a bit more subtle, preferring to express his relationship woes within movie lines:

Cable Guy (1996):

“He who hesitates, masturbates.”
“Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac.”

Liar Liar (1997):

“I…I mean your boobs are huge. I mean, I want to squeeze them. I…ma ma…… [puckers up]“

Perhaps Carrey is just growing a bit desperate, since Renee Zellweger and Lauren Holly have moved on to brighter, more anorectic pastures. To boot, it’s been questioned whether Hollywood’s declining box-office revenues can keep supporting a $20 million per movie guy like Jim Carrey. A rare glimpse of seriousness:

“Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything, or creating anything. Period. If you ain’t desperate at some point, you ain’t interesting.”

Those words might just prove to be a self-fulfilling prophecy, but lest we think Jim Carrey has gotten all deep on us, he cannot escape his true nature:

“There is nothing like making love to somebody you give a shit about.”

Damn, that’s romantic. Somebody, stop me!