Hey y’all like ya know gonna get me some drinkie tonight. Woohaahh! Gonna go the pub with some hottie and have a few Guinness and hit on some teenage boys. Just like every night, but it tastes like nothing and it’s supposed to be good for you. Kinda like that stuff that tastes like Clorox.

So like, right now for example. I’m gonna kick ya in the bullocks! Come on down and party with me, baby, cuz you’re totally buggin’. You like girls that make noises with their armpits and burp a lot, right? No need for an R.S.V.P. cuz I say the more the merrier. Kinda like an orgy, ya know. And may I please remind you that it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statute of Liberty, or Grandpa McCarthy would have never gotten into this joint.