Cash Warren doesn’t read interviews given by Jessica Alba, or he would have noticed her confessions to journalists that Warren wasn’t “the one” but that a certain sexy politico might be worth pursuing. Similarly, Warren never realized that his girlfriend has a major crush on England’s Prince William. So imagine Warren’s surprise when his long-term girlfriend called him on July 22 and reportedly stated “I’m not in love with you anymore.”
If Cash Warren really is that clueless, it’s hard to feel sorry for the fellow. After all, he got to caress Jessica Alba’s ass for two years. Also, those fucking shorts.
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Fictional conversation with me and Jessica:
Jessica: “I’m not in love with you anymore.”
John: “Darn. So, we’re still going to engage in pre-marital relations?”
Jessica: “Of course!”
John: “Then we’re all good, then.”
Aaaand scene. Then again, if she’s got a crush on an English prince, she sure-as-shootin’ better get ready for a life of loveless sex.
Then again, if she’s got a crush on an English prince, she sure-as-shootin’ better get ready for a life of loveless sex.
Henry VIII is on line one for you…wait, actually it’s his headsman.