Girls Gone Wild slimeball Joe Francis may be locked up in a federal prison somewhere in the alkali deserts of Nevada, but a minor setback like that isn’t nearly enough to make him shut the hell up. Page Six reports that Francis has set up a new website, meetjoefrancis.com, to help people get better acquainted with him and to lay out his side of the story in the avalanche of criminal charges he faces. Joe concedes that he’s “not exactly your average Joe,” but don’t be misled—as you explore the site and get acquainted with Joe and the special world he lives in, you’ll discover that you and he are very much alike. Or so he says.

To be honest, I didn’t spend much time exploring the site. The photo gallery wasn’t sleazy enough to be interesting, and by the time I reached page 2 in Joe’s account of his legal troubles I wanted to move on to something more entertaining, like ripping out my toenails with my teeth. However, there was one interesting little nugget. I managed to stay with Joe’s life story until he reached the age of six, and when he was suspended for harrassing his first-grade teacher the principal told Joe’s mother, “If all children were like Joe, then people wouldn’t have children.” Apparently even slimeballs sometimes slip and tell the truth.