That’s what you get for being a douchebag. Kate and Jon Gosselin’s divorce has been finalized, and from Jon’s point of view it ain’t a pretty sight. Kate gets the house and primary custody of the children, and neither party gets spousal support—not a problem for Kate, who already has a new reality show in the works. For Jon, who’s dead broke, it might be more of an issue. He gets no support, and Jon’s own compulsive douchebaggery makes it impossible for him to work with anyone but TLC, who has no interest in using him. Moreover, the judge reportedly set his monthly child support payments in the five-figure range and ordered Jon to pay back the $235,000 he’d withdrawn from the couple’s joint account. (Kate wasn’t penalized for her withdrawals; they were necessary “for the children.”) The judge did show clemency by refusing to grant Kate’s bid for monthly visitation rights for the purposes of pounding Jon’s genitals with a baseball bat.
And so ends the Gosselin saga, which means Jon will be taking a welcome leave of absence from this website. Don’t expect to see him here again until desperation drives him to start knocking over convenience stores in an attempt to make those child support payments. Of course, the clerk only has $50.00 in the till, so he’ll have to knock over a lot of convenience stores.
