Jon Lovitz is my hero

By Phin in Janice Dickinson, Talking Heads

I’d never been what you’d call a fan of Jon Lovitz. Prior to today the sound of his voice made me want to drive railroad spikes into my ears. But now, he’s my hero, he’s like Batman, Spiderman and Cosmo Kramer all rolled into one heroish type person that I could never measure up to.

July 17, 2007 — IT was fight night at an L.A. comedy club last week when Jon Lovitz roughed up Andy Dick over the murder of their “Saturday Night Live” colleague, Phil Hartman.

Laugh Factory owner Jamie Masada, who witnessed the assault, said, “Jon picked Andy up by the head and smashed him into the bar four or five times, and blood started pouring out of his nose.” Lovitz told Page Six, “All the comedians are glad I did it because this guy is a [bleep]hole.”…

…Last year, Lovitz related, a drunken Dick strolled up to his table at Ago in West Hollywood, rudely downed his guests’ peach liqueur drinks, and “looked at me and said, ‘I put the “Phil Hartman hex” on you – you’re the next one to die.’ I said, ‘What did you say?’ and he repeated it. I wanted to punch his face in, but I don’t hit women.”…

…When the two ran into each other at the Laugh Factory last Wednesday, “I wanted him to say he was sorry for the ‘Phil Hartman hex,’ ” Lovitz told us. “First he says, ‘I don’t remember saying that.’ Then he leans in and says, ‘You know why I said it? Because you said I killed Phil Hartman.’ Which I never said. Then he asked me to be in his new movie.

“I grabbed him by the shirt and leaned him over and said, ‘I don’t want to be in your movie! I don’t want to be in your life!’ I pushed him against the rail. Then I pushed him again really hard. A security guard broke it up. I’m not proud of it . . . but he’s a disgusting human being.” …

Normally I’m not a big fan of violence, but when it comes to someone abusing Andy Dick, I’m all for it. Maybe SNL could do a new skit where people kick the crap out of Andy Dick on a weekly basis. I’m sure celebs would line up for the opportunity and it’d keep Dick in the news so he’d be all for it.

The other contributing factor to Jon Lovitz being my hero. According to NNDB he’s having the sex with Janice Dickinson (the first self-proclaimed supermodel). Which since she admitted to having the sex with over 1,000 (that’s three zeros kids) isn’t all that great of a conquest, unless you’re Jon Lovitz and got famous saying Yeaaaah, that’s the ticket!.

Subway, Eat Fresh!

No comments


I like Jon Lovitz, I always have, and after reading this I like him even more. And let’s face it, who wouldn’t want to beat the snot out of Andy Dick? I mean, his name says it all. Thankew phineas……

07.17.07 | 9:21 am

I love this. LOVE! This story? Made my whole fucking morning, which says a lot considering not 5 minutes before I read it, my disgusting coworker was obnoxiously standing over me and literally belched in my ear. Yep, I thought to myself — nothing could possibly redeem my mood now. God Bless you, Lovitz.

07.17.07 | 9:44 am

This is definitely the feel-good story of the summer. I actually liked Andy Dick on NewsRadio, and he’s spent most of the last decade making me regret that. Pounding Andy Dick still isn’t enough to make me watch any of Lovitz’s movies, but it’s a damn fine achievement nonetheless.

07.17.07 | 11:53 am
I R A Darth Aggie

So…Lovitz was beating dick? and this is newsworthy?

07.17.07 | 2:00 pm

[...] apparently. It was fight night at an L.A. comedy club last week when Jon Lovitz roughed up Andy Dick over the [...]

07.18.07 | 12:00 pm

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