Jude Law and galpal Sienna Miller have ended their long-term and apparently open relationship, and unlike all the previous rounds, this time they’re totally serious:

“It’s a mutual decision. They have definitely come to the end of the road. They tried to make it work but it failed.

Law, 33, and Miller, 24, were engaged to be married in 2004 but Miller broke off the relationship after his affair with his children’s nanny, Daisy Wright, was exposed the following year.”

One really must commend ex-wife Sadie Frost for hiring such fuckworthy nannies. Good help is so hard to find these days.

“After the revelation of the affair, Miller called off their union and Law issued an apology. After months apart the couple gingerly made another go of it in one of Hollywood’s great mysteries of the heart.”

Excuse me while I throw up just a little bit in my mouth.

So why the breakup now, kids? Maybe Sienna was miffed about Jude’s recent confession that he’s completely broke. Perhaps Jude was just too damn handsome for a common girl to manage. It’s even possible that Jude is a big fan of Shitsburgh.

I suppose we’ll just have to attribute this unfortunate occurrence as one of those “great mysteries” of The Adventures Jude Law’s Penis.