Obviously, the following revolting practice doesn’t affect men, but when women are regularly called upon to “disprove” their own alleged pregnancies, I gotta wonder whether the red tops have any lingering sense of decency at all. It’s a stupid question, I do realize, and perhaps I am abnormal in this (and many other) regards, but, honestly, I have no comprehension of this insatiable curiosity concerning whether any celeb’s uterus happens to be occupied or vacant.

No one ever seems to realize the rampant sexism associated with society’s obsession with pregnant-or-not-pregnant actresses, models, and pop stars. It’s actually a very cruel sort of wonderment, which often results in even more humiliating treatment. Take Reese Witherspoon, who once sued Star magazine for unequivocally stating that she was with child. Star’s method of “clearing the air” was to post a highly unflattering (and probably reverse-photoshopped) picture next to the following caption: “SHE’S NOT PREGNANT… IT’S BLOAT!” Nice.

Kate Moss just happens to be the proud owner of the most whispered about uterus about town. Apparently, Kate has been sporting a “baby bump” (such a disgusting term, no?), and the worst offender in this madness just happens to be News of the World. This notorious red top is, of course, the tabloid that buys stories from the likes of Blake Fielder-Civil, Cato Kaelin, and any number of Britney Spears’ exes. NOTW is also the same publication that once printed an “exclusive” story about Kate’s supposed 34th birthday party orgy celebration, in which “Kate gasped with pleasure” (defunct url) during some supposed drug-fuelled, four-way fuck session. You’d think they’d have learned after being sued by Moss’ lawyers for “false and defamatory allegations,” which was followed by a hefty amount in damages. Nope.

Now, News of the World has claimed yet another “exclusive” that Moss is three-months pregnant:

Rumours have been rife after Kate curbed her party lifestyle and was snapped at Movida nightclub this week showing a bump. When she started to let her hair down, Kills guitarist Jamie was overheard telling her to “calm down, especially in your state”. [sic] Last night, a source close to the model said: “It’s true. Kate is pregnant. She’s overjoyed at the news. She’s past the 12-week stage so she’s telling more and more people. Her friends are delighted for her.”

To fend off such rumours (and, really, who can blame her?), Kate openly drank alcohol at a Cavalli shoot. In addition, Kate and Sir Phillip Green (of Topshop fame) engaged within a little impromptu weight discussion for NYMag:

K: I am a woman now! It’s true. No, honestly, I’ve never worn a bra in my life. Ever! It’s so awful, even my friends are phoning me up and saying “Are you pregnant?” And I’m like, “No! I just put on a couple of pounds, and they went in the right place.” Isn’t that weird? And how perfect for lingerie.

P: That’s how it works. You’ve got to be lucky.

K: Now I can fill a B-cup.

. . . .

P: Oh my God! How exciting! Now you’ve got titties. How exciting.

K: My boyfriend might not like them. I’m a bit worried.

P: Well, they are a bit bigger than they were, aren’t they?

K: Massively bigger. Anyway, enough about my boobs. Let’s get back to business.

For the illustrious Now Magazine, getting “back to business” meant printing this classy headline: “KATE MOSS: I’M NOT PREGNANT, I’M JUST FAT.” Assholes.

Imagery: NYMag