Richard Branson’s Virgin Atlantic has celebrated its 25th birthday, and, to mark the occasion, Branson hired Kate Moss to dress up as a Virgin “Flying Girl” (those Vargas-styled pin-up girls painted on the side of the Virgin fleet). While Kate was all smiles for this well-paid gig, she was fresh off one of her notorious party weekends that may or may not have been so cheery. According to the Mirror.uk, Kate and her boyfriend of almost two years, Jamie Hince, had one of those oft-alleged “blazing row[s]” while enjoying a [not-so] relaxing weekend in the Cotswolds:

Kate got so mad she ended up hurling Jamie’s manbag into a swimming pool.

Jamie, lead singer of The Kills, screamed “noooooooo” in slowmotion and plunged in after it, like David Hasselhoff in Baywatch.

His panic was understandable. Because in that sodden bag was a laptop. And on that laptop was something truly precious – six brand-new songs by The Kills.

Sickeningly, they were not backed up – and, cruelly, the world will never, ever get to hear them.

Mates, I’m not too sure that I believe this story, for Jamie Hince isn’t even the lead singer of The Kills. He’s the fucking guitarist.

Prior to this alleged altercation, Kate spent the early part of the weekend writhing around onstage and pretending to sing alongside the legendary David Gilmour (Pink Floyd) at a karaoke fund-raising event. Although Kate has never been hailed for her vocal talents, certainly, nobody could argue with this display of legginess:

And now, more of Richard Branson pretending to be 25-years old again by hoisting Kate over his shoulders and hauling her into one of his Virgin Atlantic jumbo airplanes. Bloody fucking hell, English people are weird.