Someone really ought to check up on our favourite junkie wastrel, for his ex-fiancée has gone and married someone else. That’s right — Kate Moss has gone and made the proverbial “honest woman” of herself by marrying her longtime beau, Jamie “Hotel” Hince, who was previously presumed by many to be Mr. Rebound. Hince, of course, is the bloke that had Kate smiling very shortly after her traumatic breakup (over three years ago) with Pete Fucking Doherty, who carried it all into a bloody fucking aftermath and was “understandably inconsolable after he attempted to reconcile in full view of the paparazzi by bringing a crack-laden olive branch to [Kate's] Primrose Hill mansion.” A year later, Doherty was still uploading YouTube missives in some twisted sort of devotion to the lost love who didn’t even seem to remember his name.

Well, Kate and Jamie weren’t just a rebound thing after all, and she’s been wearing his engagement ring since April. According to a Mirror Exclusive, Moss and Hince actually wed in a low-key Sicilian ceremony back in August! Apparently, there was a see-thru dress involved as well. Good times, mates.

UPDATE: My fellow Cruise-obsessed comrade, Kaiser of Celebitchy, has confirmed that these rumours of marriage are false. Guess that means Pete shouldn’t lose all hope.